On Jul 25th, 2007 Sal Mirasola wrote:

Iam a victum of addiction just as it is described in this blog. Iam searching for a way out as I type this message. The problem is that I don't have the money for an expensive rehab center and I must continue to work as I fight this horrible addition. Iam open to suggestion. Thanks Sal

On Jul 31st, 2007 k Ran wrote:

I am dealing ithmy mom who is addicted to painkillers just like this blog. Iwant to know the best way to help her.

On Aug 14th, 2007 smartin wrote:

k Ran,
I am dealing with my mom as well -- she has been taking valium for 25+ years. It is so hard and i am so tired of the never-ending struggle with her addiction. My mom doesn't think she has a problem -- it is the 'rest' of us. i want to know how to get her help as well -- i feel i have tried everything -- and don't know what else i can do.

I just wanted to wish you Good luck and let you know you are not alone.

sma

On Sep 27th, 2007 Mr. Addict wrote:

I have had a bad pain killer addiction for about 2 years now. I have had times where I stopped for several days and they were just pure hell. Eventually by the next day or so I would reload. Spending most of all my money that I make on them just to feel NORMAL!

MY QUESTION IS....how/what can I do if I DON"T have health insurance and no money to spend on rehab? Is there things such as tylonal, asprin, ANYTHING that can be taken to dull the pain of the withdrawls??????? Please advise.

THANK YOU

J

On Oct 2nd, 2007 sad and ashamed wrote:

I want to stop, I need to stop. I have a problem but no one knows but me. I hide my pills, and take too many. I want to hurt myself to just end the pain. There has to be some way out. Help me please

On Oct 8th, 2007 kiel wrote:

is anyone there?? i am ceizing the use of painkillers tomorrow and i would love some support

On Feb 5th, 2008 pendelton wrote:

is there a club?!!!may i join plz...

On Feb 9th, 2008 Renee G wrote:

I am dealing with my mom and her boyfriend who are both addicted to oxyconto (SP) painkillers. They live in CT, both are so messed up they are actually crazy and unrational. Losing their house, jobs, everything. Iwant to know the best way to help them, I even think they'd do rash things. We've all bailed them out financially, but I can't anymore and they're angry with me because I have to sell their home, which I bought to save from Foreclosure, but now they have ripped walls and floor out, the roof and furnace are going and they have no money. I'll lose my credit and kids college, I can't do that to my kids. I feel awful. They don't think the meds are a problem. But her boyfriend takes them until he looks like he' going to have a heart attack. We have the same family doctor, can I talk to them legally?

On Feb 29th, 2008 Rosemarie wrote:

The problem with pharmacutical medication addiction lies within the medical community and the Legislative. Laws have not been passed that hold the medical professional accountable. Instead, ineffective social programs are implemented and maintained with our tax dollars. The simplest solution would be to pass stick laws governing the medical and pharmacutical industries and holding the industries accountable for rehab cost instead of the individual and taxpayer. This in turn would require elected officials to declare issues and plans with quarterly reports to constituents as to action, reaction, and alternative measures taken. IN this manner we could gain control of legislation and thereby make the elected work for us instead of financial backers/lobbist. It is totally illogical to seek help considering the ineffectiveness of help available in Wisconsin today. I don't know about other states but suspect similiar situations exist there also. I was appalled when I looked into the amount of public monies spent, the administrative costs, and salaries and benefits, the small numbers of persons served and lastly the even smaller numbers of persons fully rehabed. It is no wonder that WI govt is broke considering the way our tax money is squandered for state employees and contract service providers salaries/benefits.

On Mar 19th, 2008 Cara wrote:

I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years now and we have a little 2 year old daughter together. I have been dealing with addiction to sleeping pills, tranquilizers and anything else he can get his hands on for all this time now. I have left him, given him a 100 chances to change and am now still with him hoping for some kind of light at the end of this tunnel. I have threatned him, sworn that I am going to leave and take our child away, aaahhhhh ... so many things. Things have gotten so bad that he is now lying to me about it. When I can tell from am mile away he is high. He has also started going behind my back, with my money and buying this crap. If he can't get a prescription he will buy the strongest, most effective stuff over the counter. I don't know what to do anymore. This is affecting my relationship once again and he has become untrustworthy and dicietefull. He is only 22 years old and I am 24. I am a lot maturer than him and feel I often lose the plot when I finally get it out of him that he is on this stuff. He has family members that join him in this addiction and well I am now at my ends wit.
Please, I need some advice as to what I should do. I don't want my child growing up with this. Also I dont know if I can trust him with her either as he is untrustworthy in every other department.
Should I leave for good this time and move on with my life? Take my little girl away from this and never let her be apart of it? I just can't take it anymore!!!!!
PLEASE I am desperate.

On Mar 19th, 2008 Renee wrote:

I am an addict. I have been addicted to pain killers of all kind for about a year and a half now. I am a recovering meth addict. I used for 4 years and have been clean for 3 but now this is the worse I have ever been. I have been kicked out of my house because of my addiction and now I am supposed to continue to work and fix my life. I dont know what to do. Any advice will be appreciated.

On Mar 27th, 2008 G. Andrew wrote:

Addiction is inevitable if opioids are taken long-term or in high doses—and the risk of addiction is very high for short term use.

This myth stems from confusion about the nature of addiction. Many people believe that addiction is simply needing a substance to function—but if this were the case, everyone would have to be considered addicted to food, air and water. “To the average person, addiction is going cold turkey— they view addiction as physical dependence,” says Pasternak.

In fact, psychiatry defines addiction as compulsive use of a substance despite negative consequences—and it is this craving, impairment and loss of control that people fear. However, while most people who take opioids for long enough will develop physical dependence and suffer withdrawal if the drugs are stopped abruptly, addiction in pain patients is rare.

“The reality is that addiction appears to be distinctly uncommon in patients without a prior history of addiction or a family history of addiction,” Portenoy says. In his own research on more than 200 patients treated with OxyContin for chronic pain over three years, no new cases of addiction were reported.

“Over 30 years, I’ve seen a few thousand patients with cancer and sickle cell [disease] and other [conditions], and less than five that I’m aware of became addicted,” Payne says.

On Apr 23rd, 2008 Deb wrote:

My daughter is an addict. She started with pain killers prescribed to her by the dentist when she got her braces on at the age of 14. I don\'t think it became a problem until she was 15 or 16, but nevertheless, it escalated into other drugs, and ended with heroin and a year in jail, 2 months in a rehab and 4 more months in a halfway house, all mandated by the court. She will be on parole for 5 years. I also feel like I\'m on parole for 5 years. All I can say is ask for help. Stop torturing yourself, stop torturing your parents and others that love you and get help and live. Live long and happy!

On May 29th, 2008 rx popper wrote:

Hey everybody. I'm new 2 this website, but I just went thru & read all the blogs on prescription pill abuse. I am living proof that it can be beat! I struggled with the addiction, on and off, for almost 7 yrs! I took lortab/ vicodin/ percocet, any pain pill I could get my hands on. And I don't mean like one or two, @ my worst I was taking 15- 20 10's a day! I had a $200 a day habbit. That's $1,400 a week, $5,600 a month... ALMOST $70,000 a year! I mean, yeah, occasionally, I'd get a script from my doc. In fact, when I was 16 I got my molars removed. I got a script of thirty 5 or 7.5 mg. lortabs. That was the best week of my life! Sleep in til 10 or 11, wake up, eat a lil sumthin, take a couple pills, feel good 4 a lil while, go 2 back 2 sleep, wake up, take a couple more, & so on & so on! If only I could step back in time & scream @ myself... "DONT TAKE THEM, U WILL GET ADDICTED, U WILL DO HORRIBLE THINGS 2 PEOPLE U LOVE, JUST 2 GET $ 2 FEED UR ADDICTION!" Now, that I'm older, I c the occasional commercial talkin bout how kids don't even have 2 leave home 2 get high anymore, they just go in their parent's medicine cabinet. It's SO true & I wish I could explain the w/ds I went thru 2 them 2 try & get them 2 understand. The vomiting, skin crawling, itchin, & hurtin, layin in the bed 4 DAYS @ a time, just tryin 2 scheme up sum way 4 me 2 get @ least $100- $200 2 get me thru that day. I had been seein the same doctor as my whole family, 4 years and years. Well, I fucked that up! I did something really stupid & never went back. I think more out of bein just plain ashamed of myself. Obviously, I was embarassed & completely terrified 2! Terrified they would press charges, terrified they would tell my family, JUST TERRIFIED! So, then what? Well, I go about a mo. or 2 w/o a doc. & just buy from these 3 women I know... but, that started addin up REALLY fast! I went thru about $50,000 in less than a year! So, I get a new doc. I go 2 my 1st appt. & wear sum lil short shorts, revealing top, u know the drill! Well, he's married, obviously not lookin my way any more than he should, & 2 top it all off, he knew my, @ the time fiance & his whole family! I think that day I wound up havin 2 go 2 the emergency room & I only scored like 12 5's... like that would even get me thru the day?!? If u think that's a lot, that's not even the half of it! After that, I started gettin braver & braver, until 1 day I got BUSTED! I woulda stayed in jail, got a lawyer, & tried 2 do it on my own. But, my husband called my parents b/c they were the only people he knew that had the kinda $ that was needed 2 get me out. God & a really (expensive) good lawyer got me outta that 1. WHEW!! Things were horrible, I wasn;t sure if my engagement was on or off b/c of the issues we were havin due 2 my addiction! It was causing family problems, obviously I was killin myself slowly, my finances were dead & I was about 2 wish I was! My lady that I could always go 2, even if she just had 1, she'd give it 2 me so I wouldnt have 2 b w/o. Well, she went out of town for a week. I knew it was coming, so I tried to prepare myself, I bought all that she had b4 she left. I even made up a chart tellin me @ what time, on each day, how many lortabs I could have! Needless 2 say, I didnt stick 2 my chart & I ran out 2 days b4 she got home. That was the most painful experience I have EVER had 2 go thru in my whole entire life, but it was also what SAVED my life! I distinctly remember standing in the laundry room, with each hand on the bleach bottle, & I just kept thinkin "if u swallow it fast enuf, it wont burn 2 bad & b4 u kno it this will all b over w/ & u will no longer feel all this pain!" But @ that moment, I believe my grandmother, God rest her soul, was lookin over me. I couldn't do it, it's not suppossed 2 end this way. I wanna be welcomed in2 the gates of heaven & c all my loved 1s I've been longin 2 c! At that moment I called a doctor's office # that I had been researchin about. They treated opoid addiction, which, if u didn't kno is pain pills AND HEROIN! I had no clue all that time I was messin w/ something equally as fatal as heroin. But, 2 wrap this up & so that y'all kno there is @ least 1 success story out there & maybe u can be the next! As odd as this sounds, I actually got sum sleep & was already beginning 2 feel better, just b/c I knew I was about 2 get help. When I got to the doctor's office, the doc ran sum simple tests on me, asked me a few ?s, & then gave me a script 4 suboxone & sum ambien 2 help me sleep. I'm tellin u not 15 mins. of the med. bein under my tongue, the w/ds wwere almost completely gone. I'm not gonna lie, I hadn;t had anything in so long, it made me feel a lil "speedy." I think really though, it just gave me a much needed boost of energy! I have 2 say thanks 2 my husband tho b/c if not 4 him, I would probably not be alive 2day. He told me that he would give me the $300 if I would just go & get the med 2 get me off the tabs. I know sum of u mite be thinkin, well, isn't that just tradin 1 pill addiction 4 another 1? That's what I thought, until I took Suboxone. It's chemical structure is made up 2 whee that u won't keep needin more & more. In fact, I started out @ 3 a day & that was in September, just 9 mos. ago & I'm off!! As of today, I have been clean goin on 10 mos! I got married May 10, we just got back from our honeymoon, & we hope 2 expand our family in the near future. To do that, I've gotta have my body as healthy as possible! So, 4 all u folks out there who think life isnt worth livin anymore b/c addiction is killin either u or a loved one. Save up the $. U don't have 2 have ins., in fact the doc. I went 2 said that they couldn't accept ins. 4 suboxone treatment anyways. Think about how much $ u r waistin on pain pills now? Instead of spending $ 2 kill urself, save up the $ 2 save ur life! Every day that u walk this green Earth, u should bend down and kiss it & thank ur lucky stars. The decision is all urs, live or die?

On Jun 17th, 2008 Karoline wrote:

I am dealing with my mother who is addicted to pain killers for about 30 + years. She just recently fell and broke her neck and is now paralyzed so now we are dealing with and addict and a spinal cord injury. I am so done and I need assistance from whoever to just get through it.

On Jun 25th, 2008 kimberly wrote:

RXPOPPER is right. Just dont take pills.One day you will just be taking some of your parents pain pills to get high,the next thing you know your ADDICTED and you wont just want them--you will NEED them.I was on pain pills-but mostly just snorting oxycontin Everyday-for two years.And im only sixteen.Dont for one second think you cant get addicted to it because once it happens your life will be completely upside down.Your life will revolve around your pills.Everything you do Everyday will first be about if you have pills.And if you dont have pills--all i can describe withdrawals as HELL.I\'ve been clean for a couple months,but i noticed for pain-pill addicts they are addicted for the rest of their life whether their clean or not.And i believe that no matter what i do, I know i will always have that part of me that will want pain pills to do simple things like getting up and going to work.So think about it before you take one to get high.

On Jul 23rd, 2008 Buffy wrote:

My 31 year old son has been addicted to Ultram for over 4 years. Started out seeking relief from back pain. GO TO A CHIROPRACTOR! DO NOT TRY THESE PAIN MEDS. Adjustments fixed his back problem. However, he was already dependent on Ultram to keep him feeling functional. More and more, top useage 50-60 per day. It\'s a wonder he is still alive. Physically, he could not stop as the withdrawal is hell. He had to keep working to keep buying the pills to keep functioning, and round and round it goes. Everything you earn goes to buy more pills. Spent $1500-$2000 per month. Financially ruined. Lost home, lost wife & daughter, lost a job, credit is shot from using credit cards to buy more pills. After his 2nd seizure, without health insurance, he was admitted to an indigent bed at the detox unit for 3 nights. It is now 23 days after the seizure. Not using Ultram for 23 days. Withdrawal symptoms are still strong. Diahhrea, extreme fatigue, trouble sleeping, body aches, deep coughing, and still unable to go back to work. Starts outpatient group and individual therapy next week thru the county, without health insurance. The grace of God will save him.

On Jul 25th, 2008 AJ wrote:

Hi, My name is AJ and I'm an addict and alcoholic. I too was addicted to vicodin. Vicodin helped me with energy, and being a waitress it gave me energy and a buzz most of the day. I started off by having teeth pulled that could have been filled. And any medication my family got I always was in control of how much they needed hoping there would be leftovers that were mine. I may have had a couple of scripts here and there, but mostly i bought my pills on the street at $2.50 a pill. my addiction to vicodin escalated from one pill a day to 10 just to get out of bed. I knew I was addicted but I did not realize the effects of damage to your liver. This scared me because I was also an alcoholic, which effects your liver. I also have hep-c which also causes damage to your liver. I knew I had to quit but every new morning would bring on terrible withdrawal pains without the drug. Once the pills start working between 20 minutes to a half hour you slowly feel like you are coming back to life. I loved the feeling of Vicodin. One morning when getting myself together to go cop some pills, my dealer had ran out. He had many people devastated. Well there was on girl there that knew I had a script of XanaX asked me if I wanted to trade off some of my Xanax for some vicodin. I said ok, of course and she then told me to come to her house to make the trade. While there, not knowing much at all about her, her phone rang it was her crack dealer waiting in her driveway. When she returned from outside she told me she had just bought some crack. Me being a human garbage can for anything that took me out of misery asked her if I could try some. WELL I took one hit and knew i liked it and asked for a second hit and then went home I felt great,ON TOP OF THE WORLD. When I got home I said to myself call her up and get that dealer back to the house I wanted more of my own to smoke as I pleased. She called, he came and smoking crack i became addicted immediately. Sadly the girl who couldn't get off the vicodin was now addicted to crack. The crack was so powerful that I just switched my addiction. The crack was so strong it masked the withdrawal from the Vicodin. I smoked crack for 2 years .Was in approximately 8 psych wards, 2 Rehabs, outpatient programs, and my family had had it. I robbed everyone in my family, pawned all my gold, became none caring about everything except the crack. I have been clean over a year from drugs and alcohol. Little by little my family is starting to trust me.I went to hell and back and I will not wake up ever again with the horrors. I now wake and don't have any regrets of yesterday. In my sobriety I lost my 22 year old daughter to a heroin overdose, she just stopped breathing in her sleep. August 22 will be one year since my daughters death. I can't help but feel mostly responsible for my daughters addiction seeing that she watched me for years drinking and drugging. This is one of the reasons I stay clean and now go through my emotions not around them. I cannot let her death be in vane. It is my responsibility for once and for all stop this cycle of addiction that has plagued my family for generations. Since her death I become to hate addiction it disgusts me to think of my life back when i was using. If you too have a problem, do yourself and your family the best gift you can give them, your sobriety. God Bess AJ

On Jul 25th, 2008 AJ wrote:

Hi, My name is AJ and I'm an addict and alcoholic. I too was addicted to vicodin. Vicodin helped me with energy, and being a waitress it gave me energy and a buzz most of the day. I started off by having teeth pulled that could have been filled. And any medication my family got I always was in control of how much they needed hoping there would be leftovers that were mine. I may have had a couple of scripts here and there, but mostly i bought my pills on the street at $2.50 a pill. my addiction to vicodin escalated from one pill a day to 10 just to get out of bed. I knew I was addicted but I did not realize the effects of damage to your liver. This scared me because I was also an alcoholic, which effects your liver. I also have hep-c which also causes damage to your liver. I knew I had to quit but every new morning would bring on terrible withdrawal pains without the drug. Once the pills start working between 20 minutes to a half hour you slowly feel like you are coming back to life. I loved the feeling of Vicodin. One morning when getting myself together to go cop some pills, my dealer had ran out. He had many people devastated. Well there was on girl there that knew I had a script of XanaX asked me if I wanted to trade off some of my Xanax for some vicodin. I said ok, of course and she then told me to come to her house to make the trade. While there, not knowing much at all about her, her phone rang it was her crack dealer waiting in her driveway. When she returned from outside she told me she had just bought some crack. Me being a human garbage can for anything that took me out of misery asked her if I could try some. WELL I took one hit and knew i liked it and asked for a second hit and then went home I felt great,ON TOP OF THE WORLD. When I got home I said to myself call her up and get that dealer back to the house I wanted more of my own to smoke as I pleased. She called, he came and smoking crack i became addicted immediately. Sadly the girl who couldn't get off the vicodin was now addicted to crack. The crack was so powerful that I just switched my addiction. The crack was so strong it masked the withdrawal from the Vicodin. I smoked crack for 2 years .Was in approximately 8 psych wards, 2 Rehabs, outpatient programs, and my family had had it. I robbed everyone in my family, pawned all my gold, became none caring about everything except the crack. I have been clean over a year from drugs and alcohol. Little by little my family is starting to trust me.I went to hell and back and I will not wake up ever again with the horrors. I now wake and don't have any regrets of yesterday. In my sobriety I lost my 22 year old daughter to a heroin overdose, she just stopped breathing in her sleep. August 22 will be one year since my daughters death. I can't help but feel mostly responsible for my daughters addiction seeing that she watched me for years drinking and drugging. This is one of the reasons I stay clean and now go through my emotions not around them. I cannot let her death be in vane. It is my responsibility for once and for all stop this cycle of addiction that has plagued my family for generations. Since her death I become to hate addiction it disgusts me to think of my life back when i was using. If you too have a problem, do yourself and your family the best gift you can give them, your sobriety. God Bess AJ

On Dec 7th, 2008 Alexis wrote:

My daughters father is addicted to \"roxys\"!! He has changed in so many ways and has changed me. I am so angry with the things he does from stealing from me to lying to me that I have slapped him, thrown his stuff all over the street, ad argued with him multiple times. I feel that these have ruined our chance for a family. He now says he is going to another state to get help in an inpatient program. PLEASE HELP ME UNDERSTAND!!!! Will he realize that he has changed my soul and who I am with this mess? He was barely there for me while I was pregnant and has barely been there through the first year of our daughters life. He takes pills I have had for after the birth and asks for money to help him so he is not sick and I dont want to see him hurt so I help but now we are apart and he treats me like I am nothing.My anger is VERY high from this and I would like the old me back as well as the old him. Will this treatment show him how he affects others?

On Dec 21st, 2008 Anonymous wrote:

When I was younger my mom had a really bad addiction to painkillers. My parents were divorced because of it. She use to hide them in her pillow case and pockets in plastic bags, that\\\'s all I really remember. I didn\\\'t really know much then. I wasn\\\'t sure what was going on. I remember one night she came home and was really fucked up. I don\\\'t remember much of what had happened. All I remember was my dad telling me it would be okay. I sat at the window as the paramedics took her away. I had my hand on the window as if I was trying to touch her, let her know I was there. I was crying so much. I was scared, I didn\\\'t know what was going to happen. She was in a rehab center and I remember my dad taking my little sister and I to visit her. I wasn\\\'t as understanding then as I was now. I cried a little when I saw her but all I remember was thinking wow this place is cool there is a swimming pool and basketball court here. Then she was sent away to Boca Raton, Flordia to a rehab center which I think really helped her. My parents got divorced because my dad couldn\\\'t continue to deal with her addiction. We didn\\\'t talk to her for about four years due to my dad having coustody. It wasn\\\'t as hard then, but it still upset me. She would randomly call the house and if I were to answer, I\\\'d get scared and just hang up. Now that I\\\'m older I really understand things alot better. It was really hard going through a time period without my mom there. It wasn\\\'t until about somewhere around 6th or 7th grade I started to see her again. It was limited visitation but it was still something. As things got better, so did she. She started getting her life on track and I had my mom back in my life. I understand everything now and sometimes I think I\\\'m more of a mother to her. I help her through things. I\\\'m now 17 years old and a senior in high school. My mom and I have gotten so close. She is my best friend and I love her so much. She just recently had a relapse and it hurt me more then anything. She was put back in the same rehab center for a few days. When I went in to visit her all the memories started to come back to me. I walked into the lobby and remembered sitting on that couch with my dad and sister 8 years before waiting to go in and see her. It was alot different now. I was visiting her alone. I went in to see her and we talked about everything. I really thought it was just a small relapse and she would get her life back together when she got out. Her husband now hit her the other night. Bruised her badly. She was also in a bad car accident last night and was beat up from that. She didn\\\'t sound right when I talked to her this morning but I took her word for it that she wasn\\\'t on any pills. I went over and cleaned her up today, she was bruised badly and I got upset just looking at her. She looked a mess. I called one of her friends and arranged for her to stay there for a few nights because she couldn\\\'t stay in her house if she was being beat. She fed me stories and I believed them. She laid down and I went downstairs and got on the computer. It was almost 6 and that\\\'s what time her friend was coming to get her. I went upstairs to wake her up and get her ready and I couldn\\\'t wake her up. She\\\'s a deep sleeper so I thought that was it. I yelled and screamed and shook her until she woke up. I checked to make sure she was breathing and she was. She had siliva dripping from her mouth and when I talked to her all she could do from make a groaning noise. I was scared. I was worried she took something. Then she rolled over and I found two blue pills laying aside her. That\\\'s when I knew she took something again. I was scared to death and didn\\\'t know what to do. I had to call 911 and that\\\'s what I did. I was afraid if I didn\\\'t something what happen. What if I wasn\\\'t there, would she even still be alive? I got off the phone with 911 and told her they were coming to take her. She groaned a little and finally found it in her to get out a few words. She said fuck you. Over and over she said fuck you to me. It hurt more than anything that has ever been said to me. All I was doing was helping her and I know it was the right thing to do. The paramedics came to take her and I told her I loved her. No matter what happened she is my mother, not only that but my best friend as well and I love her more then anything in the world and I want nothing but for her to be okay. I couldn\\\'t stop crying. Not just because I was scared but because I couldn\\\'t believe this was happening...again. It was hard enough going through it when I was young and nieve about it all but now i\\\'m 17 years old. I know what pills do to people and I know my mom, she is better then this, she can get through her problems in other ways she just needs to choose to do that. As I watched them take her away and saw the ambulence lights outside I remembered years back sitting at my window watching them take her away. I remembered how scared I was. I was more upset now. More upset then I have ever been. I stood there with my hand on the window looking at her and watching the lights. She looked a mess, but I knew she was in good hands. I did what I could to help her and she still chose the pills. It hurts like hell but i\\\'m praying and praying that she gets better, that she over comes this. She\\\'s better then this and I want to see her get better. Taking pills not only hurts you, but the ones who love and care about you. She kept saying to me, \\\"Walk a mile in my shoes then tell me everything will be okay.\\\" It\\\'s not only her who is in pain. I can\\\'t imagine ever being more upset then I am right now after seeing this happen again. It hurts so bad. I\\\'m so happy I was there to call 911, that I went upstairs and found her before it was to late, that I made the right decision instead of trying to take care of her on my own. It hurts, but it\\\'s a learning expierence. More then anything she has taught me what drugs do to you. How they hurt the ones who love you along with yourself. She has made me a stronger person having delt with this young and now dealing with it again. I love and care about her so much and want nothing more but for her to get better. If you have an addiction, let someone know. Get help before it\\\'s to late. Think about how bad your hurting the ones who love you, because I can\\\'t explain enough how bad it hurts.

On Jan 15th, 2009 unsure wrote:

I am 18 yrs old and in a relationship with someone who is 23. We have been together for a year and he was addicted to vicodin when we first started dating. (i didn\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'t know) Well, when i found out i told him to stop or i would leave. He claims to have stopped but, i just dont believe him. His whole entire family is addicted to any type of prescription they can get their hands on. I only see him about once a week and he lives with them 24/7. he says he hasnt touched anything in months. I just dont know if i should believe him. any advice?

On Feb 15th, 2009 scott perkins wrote:

Hello Everyone, My name is Scott and I am An ADDICT and have been for about ten years. At first I thought I had it under control taking about 2 a day, and then my body got ammuned to them and then i started taking 4 lortab 10`s every hour on the hour. They just made me focus on work, I could do my job with ease and go about my my bussiness. Then reality set in, I started spending every extra money I could get my hands on. Don`t get me wrong I still took care of my family, but the extra money if we needed a new water heater, go to the savings and take it out. It got to the point were I woke up every morning with a hand full of pills in one hand and a gun in the other and had litorally make a choice, take the pills or shoot myself and the pills always won. That is how strong they can be. But I moved to another state and got away from them for awhile. Then moved back and started them all over again. You may not believe me,but I never stole anything from family or friends too support my habit, I always found a way to get the money to get them. But this past Christmas I lost my job, and I was at the end of my road. I didn`t tell my FIANC`E AND I started taking back presents that i got her for the holiday`s. Took the money straight to the dealer and got what I needed. after getting high and then realizing what I had done, I felt like the biggest peace of shit on the. I never thought in a million years that I would do such a thing as too take from someone I loved so dearly. I went and too a test drive in a truck at a friends car lot and got the hell out of dodge. With a full bottle of sleeping pills and I was not coming back unless I was in a body bag. But the pills didn`t work, I keeped waking up on the middle of the night hoping it was just a dream, but it was real. I couldn`t go back and face the that I hurt, cause all along I thought the did`nt love me. Boy was I wrong, since i have been back for 2 weeks I have got into a program and they really care about what happens too you. Then I found this site and I read some of the stories on here and I cried for the family`s that are going through the same thing, or they are helping out a loved one and I just want too let you that I am here too support you too and if there is anything I can do, or if you just want too talk please e-mail me at tsperkins08@yahoo. Don`t let another day go by without telling someone you are there for them when they need help. That is what happened to me, and when AI finally addmitted I had a problem my family came from all over the state too be by my side and I want you to know we can get through this together if we just stick together. Even though I don`t know any of you I love each and everyone of you with as a brother or sister and please contact me if you need too talk, I`m always on the computer and will respond too you asap.

Truly your friend
Scott Perkins

On Feb 15th, 2009 scott perkins wrote:

Hello Everyone, My name is Scott and I am An ADDICT and have been for about ten years. At first I thought I had it under control taking about 2 a day, and then my body got ammuned to them and then i started taking 4 lortab 10`s every hour on the hour. They just made me focus on work, I could do my job with ease and go about my my bussiness. Then reality set in, I started spending every extra money I could get my hands on. Don`t get me wrong I still took care of my family, but the extra money if we needed a new water heater, go to the savings and take it out. It got to the point were I woke up every morning with a hand full of pills in one hand and a gun in the other and had litorally make a choice, take the pills or shoot myself and the pills always won. That is how strong they can be. But I moved to another state and got away from them for awhile. Then moved back and started them all over again. You may not believe me,but I never stole anything from family or friends too support my habit, I always found a way to get the money to get them. But this past Christmas I lost my job, and I was at the end of my road. I didn`t tell my FIANC`E AND I started taking back presents that i got her for the holiday`s. Took the money straight to the dealer and got what I needed. after getting high and then realizing what I had done, I felt like the biggest peace of shit on the. I never thought in a million years that I would do such a thing as too take from someone I loved so dearly. I went and too a test drive in a truck at a friends car lot and got the hell out of dodge. With a full bottle of sleeping pills and I was not coming back unless I was in a body bag. But the pills didn`t work, I keeped waking up on the middle of the night hoping it was just a dream, but it was real. I couldn`t go back and face the that I hurt, cause all along I thought the did`nt love me. Boy was I wrong, since i have been back for 2 weeks I have got into a program and they really care about what happens too you. Then I found this site and I read some of the stories on here and I cried for the family`s that are going through the same thing, or they are helping out a loved one and I just want too let you that I am here too support you too and if there is anything I can do, or if you just want too talk please e-mail me at tsperkins08@yahoo. Don`t let another day go by without telling someone you are there for them when they need help. That is what happened to me, and when AI finally addmitted I had a problem my family came from all over the state too be by my side and I want you to know we can get through this together if we just stick together. Even though I don`t know any of you I love each and everyone of you with as a brother or sister and please contact me if you need too talk, I`m always on the computer and will respond too you asap.

Truly your friend
Scott Perkins

On Feb 20th, 2009 April wrote:

I recently discovered my boyfriend is very addicted to oxy-contin. I found a disturbing Craigslist ad he had posted, soliciting himself for the drug and it is tearing me apart. I cannot watch this happen to someone I love, I already watched an uncle die of alcoholism as a kid and it's too painful. He was in rehab at a halfway house and ran away last week. Please pray for him, I don't know where he went or if I will ever see him again. It scares me so, I don't know what to do.

On Mar 9th, 2009 brittany wrote:

My boyfriend is addicted to any kind of perscription pain medication he can get his hands on. he takes about 10-15 pills a day. he knows he has a problem and wants help but the problem with that is all the treatment centers and rehab centers i have tried all want like 5,000 dollars for their services. that is crazy. how do they expect someone to get help if they cant afford it?my question to you is ...does anyone know of any treatment centers that are low cost?

On Mar 25th, 2009 suffering wrote:

I was addicted for three years. It got so bad that I was taking 15 to 20 pills a day. Sometimes on really bad days I would get so sick from taking so many, vomiting almost passing out. It was terrible. I got off of them when I was pregnant with my second child. After having her i started having problems and have been back on them. I dont feel that I am in active addiction as of yet. I am scared that i will be again soon. My tolerance is building again, and I dont know how much is to much on a daily basis. I cant seem to get any answers when it comes to that question. I am also a nursing mother and ive been told its ok to take pain meds while nursing. I have not noticed any differences in her while taking them. I am scared of my tolerance building. I am scared that I will hurt her if i take more than whats prescribed. As of now i take 2 7.5s every 4 hours and supposedly thats ok. I am just not sure. It seems that this addiction is an epidemic and getting straight answers from pharmicists is ridicoulous. They either completely disagree with the doctor and say to not take them at all, or they are indifferent. Ive looked on the web too and everything is contradictory. Can anyone tell me anything regarding this???

On Apr 2nd, 2009 Alex Arvizu wrote:

before i started to be and addict i took the pills just for pain. Then as time went past i noticed a change in me. I needed more of the dosage to feel no pain. I thought it was just me, you know like it was just the pills it was stupid. I started taking 2 double as much and i saw myself needing of it. I hated not being high of the pills. I hate it still but i hate that im addicted also. I want a way out of my addiction i wish i never met drugs in my life. They ruined it i wish i was a kid that all he thought about was about others but all i think about is stealin pills from my aunt that has cancer... Im going to hell and i know it. I hate this with all my life. Its so hard to stop. I keep trying and trying but the cravings just keep coming. Im scared to tell my girlfreind. I told her i quit, but she thought all i did was smoke. I just started back again after being sober for 9 months without pills. I recently took hydros oxys and propoxophene. I cant stop i swore to never do this again. IM SO JUST WANTING TO DIE I CANT STOP MY CRAVINGS. Im only 15. My emotional pain is scarring me for life. Please someone help me!!!!!!!

On May 8th, 2009 Valiant Uno wrote:

Well... where to start? just searching for some help i guess. When i was about 9 my mom had her first back surgery. Now she has had to get spinal fusion 3-4 times. When i was 12 yrs old my mother volunteered to be the donor of half of her liver to my little cousin. She has taken prescription painkillers as long as i can remember. My mother and father seperated and divorced when i was around 15 yrs of age. that is when my hellish life began. my mother developed an addiction to meth. i was young and scared. I pretty much single handedly raised my two younger sisters do to my mothers addiction to illegal narcotics and my fathers angry mental and physical abuse. Luckily enough, when i was about to turn 18 yrs old my mother was arrested and convicted for going to a motel room to by meth, which was really an undercover sting operation by the dea. She was forced to prison time, probation, and rehab. I tried to stay strong for my family. My sister is actually goin to graduate in a week. My mother did her time and rehab and is nearly done with probationary time, but a recent spinal fusion has sent her spiraling downwards. She takes so many pills... some to stop pain, some to shit, some to pee, some to stop her from shitting, more to ease the pain, and some to deal with the stress. I wasn't recently aware of how big of a problem it was. I now am 2 weeks away from turning 21, and have been living on my own since turning 19. Recently i came to stay with my mom and two sisters to catch up on things. My mother sits a mumbles short statements that make no sense. She doesnt' sleep because of what she says... she has to be up to get the girls off to school and be a good mom. I thought it was kinda weird but figured she would do anything to try and gain my families trust back. Until tonight. Around 2 in the morning i woke up to a loud slam on the floor. I rushed out of bed to investigate and found my mother on the kitchen tile crying. She had hurt her back and knees. I helped her to bed after assessing that nothing was broken. After i got her in bed i packed my 14 year old sister to my moms room so she could sleep with somebody. As i looked around things were wierd. Their was cereal strewn across the counter, oven cleaner all over the stovetop, a half load of laudry hanging out of the dryer, and a few other odd things clumsily left throughout the living area. So i woke my mom up and began to talk to her. Seems she doesnt remember anything except feeling tired at our 6 oclock dinner that i made for the fam. I need help. How can i help her? I believe she truly does need medicine to help with the pain but im no doctor. Is there any way to try and bring focus to her life? better sleep, if any at all? Diet ideas? I would consult a physician but my experiance thinks they will produce another medication as an alternative. Im scared that my mom will take her life or do something crazy and not even know that she is doing it. please i need help. I can no longer be the man of the house. it is to painful to watch my disfunctional family try to coexist with the use of medication. please any ideas would help. Thankyou for your time. -J